i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she peed on how many people?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
