If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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