Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
