You're so nebulous sometimes
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
