i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
