He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
