If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
