guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My vagina is very pro this idea
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
