In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize