I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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