I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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