We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so let's talk penis.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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