This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
