kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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