Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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