I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Randomize
