i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i think i just lost a toe
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
