What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
All the doctor said was why
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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