Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
