what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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