He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
