So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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