you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
