Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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