i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I can't turn off my feet"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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