If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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