I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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