Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize
