We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
