he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
