im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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