The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
