Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
