So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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