so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
