so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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