So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize