I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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