I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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