Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
