I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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