i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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