I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
