I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize