If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
