Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
