jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
