so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
