they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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