btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
