I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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