You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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