i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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