Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
ok first of all what the fuck
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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