I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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