just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
