You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
