Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
