are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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