Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
