Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
