I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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