Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Boobs speak an international language.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
