That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
