Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
