someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
