He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
birth control should be required to get into college
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
