Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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