The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
time to smoke my breakfast
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
