I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
