yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize