im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
