I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
vagina is talking i cant
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
