Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
