her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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