You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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