how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
