I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
