This is not my ceiling
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
