Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
