you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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