no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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