I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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