you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i dont even know how to be here
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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