didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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