sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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