i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
